http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/-t1.htm Joke Forum Post your jokes and funnies here! Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:41:49 GMT 10 http://i69.servimg.com/u/f69/13/49/53/52/cartoo10.jpg http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/-t1.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/flag-this-message-a-letter-to-the-grim-reaper-t436.htm dwc43
*So far this year you have taken away my favorite dancer and *

*entertainer MichaelJackson, favorite actor Patrick Swayze, *

*and favorite actress Farrah Fawcett**.*

*Just so you know, my favorite politician is Barack Obama**.** **

**Thank you**.*]]> Joke Forum Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:41:49 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/flag-this-message-a-letter-to-the-grim-reaper-t436.htm#1369 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/flag-this-message-a-letter-to-the-grim-reaper-t436.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/clever-scam-taking-advantage-of-older-men-t427.htm Admin Clever Scam - taking advantage of older men Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. This will only become more commonplace as the weather warms. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam ... Joke Forum Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:17:47 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/clever-scam-taking-advantage-of-older-men-t427.htm#1346 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/clever-scam-taking-advantage-of-older-men-t427.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/and-that-s-how-the-fight-began-officer-t415.htm dwc43
I said, "Dust."

And that's how the fight began, Officer...]]> Joke Forum Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:15:37 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/and-that-s-how-the-fight-began-officer-t415.htm#1330 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/and-that-s-how-the-fight-began-officer-t415.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/an-elderly-couple-were-on-a-cruise-and-it-was-really-stormy-t411.htm dwc43 An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of ... Joke Forum Sun, 18 Oct 2009 05:35:44 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/an-elderly-couple-were-on-a-cruise-and-it-was-really-stormy-t411.htm#1319 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/an-elderly-couple-were-on-a-cruise-and-it-was-really-stormy-t411.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/guy-humor-here-t410.htm dwc43 guy humor here: 1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "mourning." He said "No, just taking a shoot." 2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me. 3. My wife was ... Joke Forum Sun, 18 Oct 2009 05:34:34 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/guy-humor-here-t410.htm#1318 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/guy-humor-here-t410.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/little-johnny-strikes-again-t384.htm dwc43 Little Johnny Strikes again....... A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep, it was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate', not 'fascinating'.' Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, ... Joke Forum Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:40:03 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/little-johnny-strikes-again-t384.htm#1274 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/little-johnny-strikes-again-t384.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/phones-in-church-t350.htm dwc43 phones in church A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country... He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was Intrigued with a sign, which read 'Calls: $10,000 a minute.' Seeking out the preacher, he asked about the phone and the sign. The preacher answered that this golden ... Joke Forum Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:29:02 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/phones-in-church-t350.htm#1202 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/phones-in-church-t350.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/old-gunfighter-t348.htm dwc43 Old Gunfighter A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition. 'Do you think you could give me some tips?' he asked. The old man looked him up and down and said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the ... Joke Forum Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:23:27 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/old-gunfighter-t348.htm#1200 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/old-gunfighter-t348.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/a-pilot-overheard-this-conversation-t347.htm dwc43 Aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace. A pilot overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai . Read below.... The conversation..... Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.' U.S. Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am ... Joke Forum Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:09:02 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/a-pilot-overheard-this-conversation-t347.htm#1199 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/a-pilot-overheard-this-conversation-t347.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/you-might-recall-that-john-hinckley-t346.htm dwc43 You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan. There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated.. Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from ... Joke Forum Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:06:50 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/you-might-recall-that-john-hinckley-t346.htm#1198 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/you-might-recall-that-john-hinckley-t346.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/it-s-all-fun-and-games-until-the-transmission-falls-out-t342.htm Big Joe http://jalopnik.com/5319675/520-hp-mitsubishi-colt-drops-transmission-onto-highway-literally]]> Joke Forum Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:41:02 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/it-s-all-fun-and-games-until-the-transmission-falls-out-t342.htm#1189 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/it-s-all-fun-and-games-until-the-transmission-falls-out-t342.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-an-insomniac-an-agnostic-and-a-dyslexic-t321.htm dwc43

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog"

–Groucho Marx]]> Joke Forum Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:25:14 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-an-insomniac-an-agnostic-and-a-dyslexic-t321.htm#1119 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-an-insomniac-an-agnostic-and-a-dyslexic-t321.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-is-the-difference-between-bird-flu-and-swine-flu-t314.htm Admin




For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.]]> Joke Forum Fri, 26 Jun 2009 21:48:00 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-is-the-difference-between-bird-flu-and-swine-flu-t314.htm#1111 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-is-the-difference-between-bird-flu-and-swine-flu-t314.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/we-aren-t-ridin-dirty-we-re-just-rockin-out-t310.htm Big Joe My sister came over for Father's Day on Sunday and had an interesting story of what happened to her Boyfreind's older brother and his kids (around 6 and 3 years old IIRC.) Apparently the boys like to take after their father and uncle and listen to music like Tool and such and have watched "Rob and Big" on MTV on more than one occasion. Well a few days before this her BF's brother was driving down the street with the boys sitting in the back of his sedan doing a little head banging ... Joke Forum Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:18:23 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/we-aren-t-ridin-dirty-we-re-just-rockin-out-t310.htm#1107 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/we-aren-t-ridin-dirty-we-re-just-rockin-out-t310.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/kid-flips-over-canceled-wow-account-t309.htm Big Joe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc-UkHpOiKg]]> Joke Forum Wed, 24 Jun 2009 06:07:16 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/kid-flips-over-canceled-wow-account-t309.htm#1104 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/kid-flips-over-canceled-wow-account-t309.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/how-to-avoid-swine-flu-t297.htm Big Joe DON'T DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


]]> Joke Forum Wed, 06 May 2009 04:50:24 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/how-to-avoid-swine-flu-t297.htm#1058 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/how-to-avoid-swine-flu-t297.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/armystar-m1-t298.htm Big Joe http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Army-Military-Navy-Truck-Vehicle-Ford-Aerostar-Van_W0QQitemZ190305854008QQcmdZViewItemQQptZMilitary_Vehicles?hash=item2c4f1ce238&_trksid=p4506.c0.m245&_trkparms=72%3A317|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318]]> Joke Forum Sat, 09 May 2009 04:24:22 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/armystar-m1-t298.htm#1063 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/armystar-m1-t298.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/free-sheet-of-blank-paper-t292.htm Big Joe http://blanksheetofpaper.com/ Joke Forum Fri, 01 May 2009 07:20:28 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/free-sheet-of-blank-paper-t292.htm#1052 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/free-sheet-of-blank-paper-t292.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-causes-arthritis-t288.htm dwc43 WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS? A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked ... Joke Forum Sun, 26 Apr 2009 15:43:03 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-causes-arthritis-t288.htm#1047 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-causes-arthritis-t288.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/never-argue-with-a-woman-t282.htm dwc43 Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, ‘Good morning, ... Joke Forum Fri, 24 Apr 2009 00:26:23 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/never-argue-with-a-woman-t282.htm#1036 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/never-argue-with-a-woman-t282.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-do-a-post-office-employee-and-a-gun-with-no-trigger-have-in-common-t262.htm dwc43
A: They won't work and you can't fire them.]]> Joke Forum Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:38:31 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-do-a-post-office-employee-and-a-gun-with-no-trigger-have-in-common-t262.htm#1003 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/what-do-a-post-office-employee-and-a-gun-with-no-trigger-have-in-common-t262.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/guaranteed-male-weight-loss-program-t265.htm dwc43 A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. Weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, ... Joke Forum Sun, 19 Apr 2009 16:19:32 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/guaranteed-male-weight-loss-program-t265.htm#1009 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/guaranteed-male-weight-loss-program-t265.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/have-you-ever-been-guilty-of-looking-at-others-t264.htm dwc43 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD. WELL.... MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ... Joke Forum Sun, 19 Apr 2009 16:18:48 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/have-you-ever-been-guilty-of-looking-at-others-t264.htm#1008 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/have-you-ever-been-guilty-of-looking-at-others-t264.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/incident-at-cabela-s-t197.htm Kernel Incident at Cabela's A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one andgoes over to the counter.. A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?' He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.' She ... Joke Forum Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:04:43 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/incident-at-cabela-s-t197.htm#797 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/incident-at-cabela-s-t197.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-life-of-a-preacher-t240.htm dwc43 The life of a preacher.... A preacher said to a farmer, "Do you belong to the Christian family?" "No," he said, "they live two farms down." "No, I mean are you lost?" "No, I've been here thirty years." "I mean, are you ready for Judgment Day?" "When is it?" "Could be today or tomorrow." "Well, when you find out for sure when it is, you let me know. ... Joke Forum Sun, 12 Apr 2009 07:13:59 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-life-of-a-preacher-t240.htm#947 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-life-of-a-preacher-t240.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-bank-robbery-t241.htm dwc43 The Bank Robbery An armed hooded robber bursts into the Texas Bank and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot a brave Texas customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots this brave Texan without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber shoots him also. Everyone else, by now is very scared and ... Joke Forum Sun, 12 Apr 2009 07:31:33 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-bank-robbery-t241.htm#948 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-bank-robbery-t241.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/blonde-goes-ice-fishing-t230.htm dwc43 Blonde goes Ice Fishing A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and be gan to cut yet another hole. Again from the ... Joke Forum Wed, 08 Apr 2009 02:25:47 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/blonde-goes-ice-fishing-t230.htm#923 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/blonde-goes-ice-fishing-t230.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-black-bra-t208.htm dwc43 The Black Bra The other day I had lunch with 2 of my younger unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 30+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heels and a mask over just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went: My engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and ... Joke Forum Fri, 27 Mar 2009 02:31:30 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-black-bra-t208.htm#834 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/the-black-bra-t208.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/two-dwarfs-go-into-a-bar-t207.htm dwc43 Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend shouting cries of.. 'Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE, UGH... Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE, UGH!' This went on all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, 'How did it go?' ... Joke Forum Fri, 27 Mar 2009 02:28:03 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/two-dwarfs-go-into-a-bar-t207.htm#833 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/two-dwarfs-go-into-a-bar-t207.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/irish-wisdom-t202.htm Kernel Irish Wisdom 98-year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and, remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, ... Joke Forum Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:44:17 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/irish-wisdom-t202.htm#802 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/irish-wisdom-t202.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/david-letterman-may-be-in-trouble-with-nascar-t196.htm Kernel DAVID LETTERMAN MAY BE IN TROUBLE WITH NASCAR!!!! Now, THIS is funny. David Letterman may not get any flak from NASCAR, but I'll bet he does get some 'flak' from the NAACP, and others such as Al Sharpton and the Rev. Jackson will absolutely go nuts !!! David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers: # 10 - Have to sit upright while driving. # 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat. # 8 - Engine noise dro wns out the rap music. # 7 ... Joke Forum Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:01:53 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/david-letterman-may-be-in-trouble-with-nascar-t196.htm#796 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/david-letterman-may-be-in-trouble-with-nascar-t196.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/24-hrs-to-live-t187.htm dwc43 Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?' Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now ... Joke Forum Sat, 14 Mar 2009 14:33:57 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/24-hrs-to-live-t187.htm#760 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/24-hrs-to-live-t187.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/miss-joyce-t179.htm Big Joe Toward the end of Sunday service, the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. "Miss Joyce," Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' "I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly. "Miss Joyce, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," ... Joke Forum Tue, 10 Mar 2009 04:28:10 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/miss-joyce-t179.htm#713 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/miss-joyce-t179.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/things-falling-off-t169.htm chuzz This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee. Joke Forum Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:51:18 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/things-falling-off-t169.htm#692 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/things-falling-off-t169.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/power-of-writing-t168.htm chuzz When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.]]> Joke Forum Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:02:45 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/power-of-writing-t168.htm#691 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/power-of-writing-t168.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/no-means-no-t167.htm Big Joe Joke Forum Fri, 06 Mar 2009 04:16:04 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/no-means-no-t167.htm#689 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/no-means-no-t167.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/cleaning-dad-s-dad-s-car-t162.htm Big Joe ]]> Joke Forum Wed, 04 Mar 2009 03:08:39 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/cleaning-dad-s-dad-s-car-t162.htm#646 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/cleaning-dad-s-dad-s-car-t162.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/sleeping-dog-t151.htm Big Joe http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=7ba_1235839660]]> Joke Forum Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:30:57 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/sleeping-dog-t151.htm#600 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/sleeping-dog-t151.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/fbi-entrance-exam-t153.htm chuzz Job at the FBI The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair…kill her!!' The ... Joke Forum Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:33:16 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/fbi-entrance-exam-t153.htm#603 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/fbi-entrance-exam-t153.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/greeks-and-italians-t154.htm chuzz A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon." Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire." And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will ... Joke Forum Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:18:36 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/greeks-and-italians-t154.htm#605 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/greeks-and-italians-t154.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/potential-and-reality-t159.htm chuzz A kid asks his father for help on a writing assignment. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up thoughtfully and says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you've learned." The kid is puzzled, but asks his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a ... Joke Forum Tue, 03 Mar 2009 21:32:57 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/potential-and-reality-t159.htm#627 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/potential-and-reality-t159.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/terry-fator-performance-t157.htm dwc43 ]]> Joke Forum Tue, 03 Mar 2009 16:26:40 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/terry-fator-performance-t157.htm#620 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/terry-fator-performance-t157.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/not-exactly-thor-s-hammer-t152.htm Big Joe Joke Forum Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:35:39 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/not-exactly-thor-s-hammer-t152.htm#601 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/not-exactly-thor-s-hammer-t152.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/blonde-gets-even-t140.htm chuzz A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde, female crew member to take care of the box for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He pointedly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, mentioned that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly ... Joke Forum Sat, 28 Feb 2009 17:26:07 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/blonde-gets-even-t140.htm#507 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/blonde-gets-even-t140.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/garage-door-t134.htm dwc43 Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, "This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?" The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his ... Joke Forum Sat, 28 Feb 2009 04:03:37 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/garage-door-t134.htm#492 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/garage-door-t134.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/government-in-action-t125.htm dwc43 Government in Action I'm putting this in the humor section cause its in joke format, but I don't think it is funny as much as something to think about. Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," ... Joke Forum Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:37:24 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/government-in-action-t125.htm#440 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/government-in-action-t125.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/two-woodpeckers-t119.htm chuzz Two Woodpeckers.......... A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed. The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely ... Joke Forum Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:07:52 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/two-woodpeckers-t119.htm#387 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/two-woodpeckers-t119.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/welded-diff-t118.htm Big Joe http://pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?t=763645&page=4 It's just a joke, but a real WTF inducer:D Joke Forum Mon, 23 Feb 2009 08:56:56 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/welded-diff-t118.htm#374 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/welded-diff-t118.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/a-senior-momnet-t117.htm dwc43
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"]]> Joke Forum Sun, 22 Feb 2009 18:53:28 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/a-senior-momnet-t117.htm#372 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/a-senior-momnet-t117.htm http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/in-memorium-t116.htm dwc43
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.]]> Joke Forum Sun, 22 Feb 2009 18:51:25 GMT http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/in-memorium-t116.htm#371 http://moparperformancechat.forumotion.net/joke-forum-f13/in-memorium-t116.htm